The Golden Record (2019, Unpublished)

Acknowledgements 

In 1977 NASA launched two deep space probes Voyager 1 and Voyager 2 and placed a message aboard them, a kind of time capsule, intended to communicate a story of our world to extraterrestrials. The Voyager message is carried by a phonograph record, a 12-inch gold-plated copper disk containing sounds and images selected to portray the diversity of life and culture on Earth.

“The spacecraft will be encountered and the record played only if there are advanced spacefaring civilizations in interstellar space.”

– Carl Sagan

Contents

calibration circle

solar location map

mathematical definitions

physical unit definitions

solar system parameters

solar system parameters 2

the sun

solar spectrum

mercury

mars

jupiter

earth

egypt, red sea, sinai peninsula, and the nile

chemical definitions

dna structure

dna structure magnified, light hit

cells and cell division

anatomy 1 (skeleton front)

anatomy 2 (skeleton and muscles back)

anatomy 3 (internal organs front)

anatomy 4 (internal organs back)

anatomy 5 (ribcage)

anatomy 6 (muscles front)

anatomy 7 (heart, lungs, kidneys and main blood vessels back)

anatomy 8 (heart, lungs, kidneys and main blood vessels front)

human sex organs

diagram of conception

conception

fertilized ovum

fetus diagram

fetus

diagram of male and female

birth

nursing mother

father and daughter (malaysia)

group of children

diagram of family ages

family portrait

diagram of continental drift

structure of the earth

heron island (great barrier reef of Australia)

seashore, maine

snake river and grand tetons

sand dunes

monument valley

forest scene with mushrooms

leaf

autumn fallen leaves

snowflakes over sequoia

tree with daffodils

flying insect with flowers

diagram of vertebrate evolution

seashell (xancidae)

dolphins

school of fish

tree toad

crocodile

eagle

waterhole

jane goodall and chimps

sketch of bushmen

bushmen hunters

man from guatemala

dancer from bali

andean girls

thailand master craftsman

elephant

old man with beard and glasses (turkey)

leo kenton coleman with dog and flowers

mountain climber

gymnast

sprinters (valeriy borzov of the U.S.S.R. in lead)

schoolroom

children with globe

cotton harvest

grape picker

supermarket

underwater scene with diver and fish

fishing boat with nets

cooking fish

chinese dinner party

demonstration of licking, eating and drinking

great wall of china

house construction (african)

construction scene (amish country)

house (africa)

house (new england)

modern house (cloudcroft, new mexico)

“house interior with artist and fire” (photo of jim gray & his wife)

taj mahal

english city (oxford)

boston

UN building day

UN building night

sydney opera house

artisan with drill

factory interior

museum

x-ray of hand

woman with microscope

street scene, asia (pakistan)

rush hour traffic, thailand

modern highway (ithaca, ny)

golden gate bridge

train

airplane in flight

airport (toronto)

antarctic expedition

radio telescope (westerbork, netherlands)

radio telescope (arecibo)

page of book (newton, on the system of the world)

astronaut in space

titan centaur launch

sunset with birds

string quartet (quartetto italiano)

beethoven’s string quartet no 13

Calibration 1

calibration circle

hello. this is a circle

we like to draw them often

they are not our faces

Solar System 2

solar location map

case you can’t find us

get your kids to read the map

it works for us too

Mathematical definitions 3

mathematical definitions

here is your homework

you need to understand math

to get this slideshow

Physical unit defintions 4

physical unit definitions

we have this thing weight

maybe you guys weigh as much

as concentration

 

Solar system parameters 5

solar system parameters

see, we’re that black dot

third one along from our sun

our goldilocks zone

Solar system parameters 6

solar system parameters 2

these show nine planets

but we ostracised pluto

always a scapegoat

 

The Sun 7

the sun

we don’t have four suns

these are only fingerprints

of the sol suspect

Solar spectrum 8

solar spectrum

this makes a rainbow

we like to see them on earth

we have planet pride

Mercury 9

mercury

we do not live here

this winged messenger is far

too hot for our toes

Mars 10

mars

geez this could be us

by the time you get here bro

hate to disappoint

Jupiter 11

jupiter

this is our largest

marble in the whole bag

let’s play for keeps

Earth 12

earth

a walnut kernel

no this is our apartment

on milky way street

 

Clouds over Egypt 13

egypt, red sea, sinai peninsula, and the nile

so much history

so many chemicals we

release when angry

DNA bases 14

chemical definitions

there’ll be chemistry

between our two species

whenever we meet

DNA structure 15

dna structure

this is a letter

that our bodies send to our

cells written in code

DNA structure 16

dna structure magnified, light hit

this is using a

magnifying glass to read

our bodies’ fine print

 

Cell Division 17

cells and cell division

yes, we often split

on body issues/stem cells

& joy division

 

Anatomy 1 18 

anatomy 1 (skeleton front)

cut us in half &

we’d look a bit like this guy

pick out the bones first

 

Anatomy 2 19

anatomy 2 (skeleton and muscles back)

turn us over as

though we’re a meat pattie &

you’re flipping burgers

Anatomy 3 20

anatomy 3 (internal organs front)

some of us have guts

to stand up for what is right

some act like this dude

Anatomy 4 21

anatomy 4 (internal organs back)

these guts are a man’s

believe us that women look

just the same inside

Anatomy 5 22

anatomy 5 (ribcage)

if you believe some

we came from adam’s ribcage

how are we not clones

Anatomy 6 23

anatomy 6 (muscles front)

sorry for the long

anatomy lesson but

we all suffer too

Anatomy 7 24

anatomy 7 (heart, lungs, kidneys and main blood vessels back)

don’t get any ideas

for a barbeque fry-up

make a pie instead

Anatomy 8 25

anatomy 8 (heart, lungs, kidneys and main blood vessels front)

sorry but someone

has graffitied on this slide

jaded grad student

Human sex organs 26

human sex organs

please don’t laugh at us

we don’t have the advantage

of seeing your bits

 

Conception diagram 27

diagram of conception

all apologies

for this dirty diagram

microscopic porn

Conception 28

conception

this is not our sun

soz for the misconception

it still gives life though

 

Fertilised ovum 29

fertilized ovum

this is our engine

we can jump start it when cold

body batteries

Fetus diagram 30

fetus diagram

let’s get this straight

we are not shadow puppets

look at the next slide

Fetus 31

fetus

this is our starchild

we were once all wise women

then some became men

Male and female 32

diagram of male and female

this binary thing

not all identify as

heterosexual

Birth 31

birth

who can remember

our crazy first stunt for mum

smack your baby up

Nursing mother 34

nursing mother

most of our planet

is free now so the nipple

can be freed as well

Father and daughter Malaysia 35

father and daughter (malaysia)

oh, this photo is

possibly problematic

what was nasa thinking

Group of children 36

group of children

our kids did stuff like

this before developing

iPad addictions

Diagram of family ages 37

diagram of family ages

these peeps aren’t obese

the seventies had lower

sugar intake brah

Family portrait 38

family portrait

don’t be mistaken

there are more of us than this

photo could capture

Continental drift 39

diagram of continental drift

that strange hand is not

a continent but when things

started to go wrong

Structure of the earth 40

structure of the earth

our pale blue dot is

made up of the same stuff but

not in my backyard

Heron Island Australia 41

heron island (great barrier reef of australia)

hopefully you’ll

be able to see the reef

alive & not dead

Seashore Maine 42

seashore, maine

this is stephen king’s

house you’d like his horror books

like tommy knockers

Snake River and the Grand Tetons 43

snake river and grand tetons

i’m pretty sure this

is where skeletor resides

you’ll love snake mountain

Sand dunes 44

sand dunes

we do recommend

taking a horse & a dog

into any desert

 

Monument Valley 45

monument valley

could be a photo

from a kubrick film set just

get rid of the goats

Forest scene with mushrooms 46

forest scene with mushrooms

they were big in the

seventies these golden tops

take a forest trip

Leaf 47

leaf

we didn’t understand

leaves could talk to each other

try forest bathing

Autumn fallen leaves 48

autumn fallen leaves

because of our tilt

we have four diverse seasons

these trees are not dead

Snowflakes over sequoia 49

snowflakes over sequoia

this is snow, snowflakes

are not sharp like ninja stars

they will melt your heart

Trees with daffodils 50

tree with daffodils

we still have cancer

you’ve probably cured it

so medieval

Flying insect with flowers 51

flying insect with flowers

don’t be alarmed

our giant insects died out

in the devonian

Diagram of vertebrae evolution 52

diagram of vertebrate evolution

i know, you may think

a child drew these in pencil

pioneer ten bombs

Seashell 53

seashell (xancidae)

nature loves spirals

evolution doodles on

the inside of shells

Dolphins 54

dolphins

no, we don’t have

flying dolphins in the sea

they got some air though

School of fish 55

school of fish

this underwater

cave is not a sideways mouth

no fish were harmed

Tree toad in hand 56

tree toad

most toads are frogs that

have image problems at home

& move into trees

Crocodile 57

crocodile

we take their measure

we are the lords of the beasts

please do not skin us

Eagle 58

eagle

eagles don’t have tongues

this long, except gene simmons

leads the kiss army

Waterhole 59

waterhole

here the animals

are divided by water

humans, apartheid

Jane Goodall and chimps 60

jane goodall and chimps

camera shy chimps

our banana republic

jane immortalised

Sketch of bushmen 61

sketch of bushmen

so, only men hunt

in the nineteen seventies

sketchy gender roles

Bushman hunters 62

bushmen hunters

dogs do all the work

so where are the bushwomen

when you need them

Guatalmalan man 63

man from guatemala

we are happy here

with a machete & stick

you should try it out

Dancer from Bali 64

dancer from bali

she is pretty dope

for some early breakdancing

casts a rabbit too

Andean girls 65

andean girls

this would be even more

impressive with a condor

wingspan of four girls

Thai craftsman 66

thailand master craftsman

he crafts elephants

we hope that you get to see

real ones in the wild

Domesticated elephant 67

elephant

oh look, here’s one but

we’ve made it a slave to wood

carve out the forest

Old man with beard and glasses Turkey 68

old man with beard and glasses (turkey)

jeezus, we can’t show

smoking on tv ads now

but space probes are fine

Leo Kenton Coleman with dog and flowers 69

leo kenton coleman with dog and flowers

his small dog doesn’t

get its name mentioned as its

all about leo hey

Mountain climber 70

mountain climber

not all of us can

stand on a giant penis

don’t try this at home

Gymnast Cathy Rigby 71

gymnast

don’t be confused

there’s just one girl on the bar

not seven phantoms

Sprinters (Valeriy Borzov of the U.S.S.R. in lead) 72

sprinters (valeriy borzov of the U.S.S.R. in lead)

this is a russian

we had to be inclusive

space is a cold war

Schoolroom 73

schoolroom

notice that the child

sitting behind is off-task

he will get a smack

Children with globe 74

children with globe

looks are deceiving

these children aren’t magnetised

they are summoning

Cotton harvest 75

cotton harvest

forty years later

cotton drinks our freshwater

hydrate frequently

Grape picker 76

grape picker

worker bacchanal

no lunchbreak in the vineyard

unemployment stains

Supermarket 77

supermarket

supermarket in

california perhaps

she eats forever

Diver with fish 78

underwater scene with diver and fish

oxygen hooks fish

so, who watches the watchers

frame composition

Fishing boat with nets 79

fishing boat with nets

this’ll be a dead

art by the time you arrive

nets as fish blankets

Cooking fish 80

cooking fish

we hope you get to

try some whole barbecued fish

hurry while stocks last

Chinese dinner party 81

chinese dinner party

he’s just told a joke

we have five fingers to use

& one funny mouth

Demonstration of licking, eating and drinking 82

demonstration of licking, eating and drinking

they’re all being rude

no one eats or drinks like this

with their mouths open

Great Wall of China 83

great wall of china

you can see it from

space; are you a creature that

doesn’t love a wall

House construction (African) 84

house construction (african)

good fences make good

neighbours robert frost tells us

this one is wonky

Construction scene (Amish country) 85

construction scene (amish country)

if you look really

closely harrison ford might

be rebelling soon

House (Africa) 86

house (africa)

they’ve a thatched roof

their clothes are made of cotton

nature dresses us

House (New England) 87

house (new england)

a house two point four

children, but why has the man

estranged himself

Modern house (Cloudcroft, New Mexico) 88

modern house (cloudcroft, new mexico)

cloudcrofting is when

you look for sheep in the sky

in new mexico

House interior with artist and fire (Photo by Jim Amos of Jim Gray & his wife) 89

“house interior with artist and fire” (photo of jim gray & his wife)

big jim is painting

his wife could be a painter

can you find the cat

Taj Mahal 90

taj mahal

observatory

this ain’t, only a tomb

we are born to love

English city (Oxford) 91

english city (oxford)

dictionaries were

born here, as was a comma

y’know we’re smart too

Boston from the Charles River 92

boston

when you arrive here

please land in boston common

but don’t bring death ray

UN Building day 93

UN building day

united nations

just another level of

space bureaucracy

UN Building Night 94

UN building night

a friendly warning

bureaucracy never sleeps

even at night-time

Sydney Opera House 95

sydney opera house

this building put oz

on the world map, moreover

it’s dope down under

Artisan with drill 96

artisan with drill

who’s creating whom

the artisan with drill or

drill with artisan

Factory interior 97

factory interior

we hope you’re carbon

based…we are not torturing

these metal creatures

Museum 98

museum

this is what you might

find by the time you get here

our mammoth bones

X-ray of hand 99

x-ray of hand

look radiation

can help us see through our skin

notice our webbing

Woman with microscope 100

woman with microscope

forty images

of women to seventy

men, microscopic

Street scene, Asia (Pakistan) 101

street scene, asia (pakistan)

see that cow sitting

please don’t eviscerate it

they are sacred here

Rush hour traffic, Thailand 102

rush hour traffic, thailand

there is always one

who will stick out from the rest

of humanity

Modern highway (Ithaca, NY) 103

modern highway (ithaca, ny)

there are more cars now

& less country to wander

we are civilised

Golden Gate Bridge 104

golden gate bridge

if you attack us

destroy this bridge first because

we’ll know it’s for reals

Train 105

train

we think we can we

think we can we think we can

do you think so too

Airplane in flight 106

airplane in flight

these things used to crash

a lot more than they do now

stick to your spaceships

Airport (Toronto) 107

airport (toronto)

square on a circle

we call this architecture

plane composition

Antarctic Expedition 108

antarctic expedition

get here as quickly

as you can before the ice

all melts & we fall

Radio telescope (Westerbork, Netherlands) 109

radio telescope (westerbork, netherlands)

these cosmic windmills

will hear you coming before

we’ll get to see you

Radio telescope (Arecibo) 110

radio telescope (arecibo)

not a landing pad

all the better to hear you

with a giant ear

Page of book (Newton, On the System of the World) 111

page of book (newton, on the system of the world)

newton was proved right

on the system of the world

on its gravity

Astronaut in space 112

astronaut in space

nasa is quite coy

this is astronaut ed white

photobombing earth

Titan Centaur launch 113

titan centaur launch

this is voyager

one’s mother you could argue

complicated birth

Sunset with birds 114

sunset with birds

they didn’t get much of

a look in on this slideshow

mammal-centrism

String Quartet (Quartetto Italiano) 115

string quartet (quartetto italiano)

men wear tuxedos

women wear cocktail dresses

play us like a pipe

Beethoven's String Quartet No 13 116

beethoven’s string quartet no 13

you’ve built the player

so, go & listen to this

final masterpiece